Polyamory, Love Without Limits: Dedeker Winston On Consensual Non-Monogamy, Why Monogamy Is Not For Everyone, How To Keep Poly Relationships Happy and Healthy, Managing Jealousy and Much More!

What is love?

More books, songs and movies have been written about the topic than any other combined. And yet we still have that one answer.

What we do know is love is the greatest human experience of all. And with regards to relationship models and recent years, some of us have become aware that the one-size-fits-all is not the solution for everyone, and that monogamy is not the only way to successfully conduct a relationship. In fact, growing numbers of people are living non-monogamous lifestyles. A 2017 study found at least one in five people have engaged in some form of consensual non-monogamy before.

One approach to living a non-monogamous lifestyle could be to adopt a philosophy and lifestyle of polyamory. And this is what I will discuss with today’s guest. Dedeker Winston is a relationship coach, writer and co-creator of the Multiamory podcast.

And she is the author of The Smart Girls Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know About Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love.

02:40…What polyamory is

03:47…Dedeker‘s own journey into polyamory

11:19…The number of people that are openly living non-monogamous relationships currently in the US

13:57…Why polyamory is still stigmatized in the West

18:21…The different relationship structures and practices that fall under the term consensual non-monogamy

23:16…Pop culture and cultural narratives vs the reality of alternative relationship models

27:10…The concept of Relationship Anarchy

30:21…Love is not a limited resource: Operating from fear and lack and what the industrial revolution has to do with it

34:42…The most common misconceptions about polyamory

37:05…People who identify as asexual in the polyamorous community

39:24…Dedeker‘s advice for people interested in polyamory who want to take the first steps

44:26…How to keep polyamorous relationships happy and successful vs monogamous relationships

46:19…Jealousy and how to handle it and what it can teach us

51:05…Coloring outside of the lines: the judgements one can be faced with with when choosing to live differently and how to counter them with grace

54:50…The things that would fundamentally change in society if we opened up to accept all kinds of different relationship models

56:24…Dedeker‘s practices

Resources mentioned:

Multiamory website

Dedeker’s website

The Smart Girls Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know About Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love

Dedeker’s Instagram

Multiamory Podcast on Instagram